Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Time for Good Sex


There is nothing like time bound good sex. Everything lies in the state of you and your partner’s mind. A great orgasm can happen in a few minutes or it could take hours and sometimes great sex could happen without an orgasm. But to truly enjoy sex here are the time frames you can explore.

5 Minute Sex: If a couple has been sexting to each other the whole day, flirting casually over Whatsapp or sending each other pictures or scenes of what they want to do to each other, as soon as one partner or both get home, it would take five minutes to have great sex. If you’re already put your partner in the frame of mind, then they’re half ready. If you haven’t had time to do all this through the day but want to have a quickie, another way is to arouse your partner through gentle kissing and then use a vibrator for her. It won’t take her long to cum and then you can as well. A five minute Quickie can also happen when there is danger involved. Someone walking in on you in a public space, or you need to get to a party and are already late. The excitement that is built up and the urgency of the situation if both of you are ready and willing will give you the five minute orgasm.

15 Minutes Sex – This is when you’re slightly intoxicated and already horny. You’ve been eyeing a girl at a party. She gives you the come hither looks. You have a scintillating conversation. Sparks fly. You take her to a secluded place and you can have fifteen minutes sex. You will still need some foreplay of kissing or feeling each other before the act. The whole thing would probably last only fifteen minutes as there’s not much thinking going in. Do remember to ask her if she had a good time later. Thank her! Make sure she doesn’t have any STD and you should always wear a condom. If you’re doing this with a partner at home, (and are intoxicated already) it’s an act of faster foreplay before the act.  

30-45 Minutes – Every couple must have this kind of sex. It’s a longer version but must be indulged in once a week at least to keep the relationship alive. It starts slowly from cuddling and kissing to more deeper passionate kissing, necking, feeling, licking, sucking, touching, caressing. It can involve scented candles or ice cubes, depending on whether the woman likes it hot or cold. You can give each other an oil massage. (Please use a lavender scented oil and not mustard or coconut. This is not a maalish! It’s a gentle arousing of the senses.) Once the longer foreplay is over you can do the main act. Please remember that sex is not the actual penetration or pounding away. It’s also the arousal, the foreplay and the afterwards that counts as the time taken. It’s all in the state of mind. From the moment you get your partner to start thinking it, to moving on to the next activity.

1-5 hours – Many people think this is an absurd amount of time to have sex but remember this can only be done when you take frequent breaks. This also doesn’t mean that you need to pound away for 45 minutes. It’s a myth that women like penetration for anything longer than 5-10 minutes! So if a man is boasting about it, he’s definitely not given an orgasm to the woman who might be just trying to keep him happy. When a couple has gone on a romantic vacation, taken an entire day to just relax in the hotel room, then you can have this kind of tantric sex. But it needs a bit of concentration. No going off to watch TV or chat with friends on Whatsapp. Start with some oil treatment for each other. Then you can have a bit of sex. Then go off for a hot bath, again have some sex, indulge in some foreplay and again have some sex, caress her hair and have some conversation or a bit of light food before you again have sex. Stay in robes. Do not wear clothes! The purpose is to have a sex vacation that doesn’t need any other activity. Most hotels also have honeymoon packages so you can ask them if there is a special room with a hidden balcony or a special terrace that you can go to. Experiment there as well. It’s the idea of just having sex that can be exciting enough. You can always come back to your room if you’re not into outdoor sex. If you’re tired, use a finger vibrator or a clit simulator to have sex with your woman. You can even use different toys if you’re alone and planning to have sex for a few hours. Always be in the state of mind and it can last hours with multiple orgasms.

Cautionary Measures:
1. Always wear a condom if it’s with someone new or if you or your partner have an bacterial infection. The infection can go back and forth.
2. Don’t have any body odour or bad breath. Take a shower before you hit the party. Don’t have an overwhelming smell about you. Women DO NOT like a man who has sprayed too much cologne and perfume. They can’t breathe during sex then.
3. If you smoke, remember to carry gum so you don’t have smoker’s breath that can turn women off. If your partner smokes, then it’s fine.
4. Don’t use the vibrator with every encounter. Keep it for every third or fourth time you have sex with your woman. If she starts depending on it, it can get dangerous for you.
5. Ensure the woman has a good time and it’s not only you who has had an orgasm. She will curse you and feel terrible if you’ve only “used” her. So be considerate and a True Gentleman. That’s what makes for Great Sex. A mutual admiration of each other.


Monday, March 16, 2015

50 Shades of Vermilion: 1.Shraddha


I think that Indian women are far more courageous, erotic and sensuous than anyone in the world. So I'm writing a 50 Shades of Indian Women. 50 erotic stories of Indian women told in different ways!

My first story came from a WhatsApp chat I was having with a friend of mine who stays in London. He told me a story about one extremely smart, beautiful Indian woman.
I’m going to keep his words exactly as he wrote it in the WhatsApp chat instead of putting it in a female tone or style that I have in my Scandalous Housewives. I love his writing and I think this is a completely new way of telling a story. Not a prose, not a poem, but a chat! 
I hope you’ll like the story and style too! 

Let’s call her Shraddha.

Dumped by boyfriend just before he went to the U.S. for a masters. I was her friend with benefits for a few years. She rang me saying she needed to escape from India for a couple of weeks. So she came to me in London.
She was hurting. Nothing happened. We just went on long drives. Sat by the ocean. Took a steam train ride. She slept in another room. I was totally cool with that.
End of first week as we stood by glorious Windsor castle in the dying sunlight, she kissed me. Thank you for giving me this. Just a short kiss on the lips. Nice.
That night we had dinner and showered and cuddled in front of the TV.
She said she wanted me to read to her as she went to sleep. So we got into bed and I was reading to her as she nuzzled. Cute.
We feel asleep entangled.
She woke me up at 5 am. Such a special time. Sun just coming up. Birds stirring. Everything else quiet.
Everything bathed in liquid blue. Crystal clear.
We had explosive sex. She was angry and hungry and uninhibited. It didn't matter.
We fucked on the bed. Then rolled into the floor. I lifted her and we fucked standing up. In front of the mirror. She kept digging into me. Pushing back till she had every inch buried deep in her. When we were done we were both exhausted and happy and serene.
Over breakfast she told me how she loved my Writing. How she had been seduced by it. How she slept with me all those years because she wanted to be part of my soul. I took it as a compliment. Humbled.
Then she asked me if I would make one more fantasy come true. I said what.
She wanted to be devoured. By two men. At the same time. I was quite startled at first. Weird but I was. Also where do I find a man. I couldn't just ask a friend to do me a favour. And there wasn't time to invite her to meet my mates to see which one she fancied. No guarantees they would be up for it either. So I said i would see but didn't think I could do much.
That week she was going up to Edinburgh. While I went back to work. I bought her a pack of condoms just in case and she thanked me.
We had sex. Then she packed and I put her on the train for her final week of adventure before she headed back to the real world.
I went to Edinburgh as a surprise during the week. And arranged to go with her to a very sophisticated sex party
An orgy for the rich and famous. Very discreet. Very clean. Very safe and respectful. But very naughty.
I just watched. I am not into that kind of thing. Or at least was not that day. But let's just say she got what she wanted. Low lit room. Clean and stylish. Turkish theme. Lots of beautiful men and women in practically nothing. All very civilised at first. Drinks. Laughter. Food. She stayed close taking it all in at first. But you could tell she was feeling safe confident and getting turned on. Men making bee line for her. Indian dusky women are exotic. She is beautiful. Short. But beautiful full breasts. Small waist. Lovely legs. Men wondering if I would mind. I smiled at her.  I enjoyed watching her give and take. Friday night went into Saturday morning. We left in the afternoon.
Today she is married to some nice Banker in Mumbai. Happy. Normal.
I like that. I like how she healed herself. Sex does that. But you need friends…

If you like this read more in the book Scandalous Housewives http://goo.gl/VUCLNr

Sunday, March 15, 2015

How to Get Rid of a Clingy Girlfriend

Disclaimer: I wrote this piece in the Feb issue of Maxim magazine in lieu of my latest book launch My Clingy Girlfriend. This blog and the book is not meant to offend anyone or provide unhappiness to any relationship. 

Most men have had a clingy girlfriend. They’re the ones who keep checking who you’re talking to on WhatsApp, they keep asking what you’re thinking, why you don’t give them your Facebook password, when will you get married and what your babies’ names shall be. All within the first month of knowing you. So if you know you need to break up, here are a few tips to do so.

1. Empty Threats – You can’t say we need to break up and the next night sleep with your girlfriend. You can’t give her mixed signals. Then they’re just empty threats that are not going to make her go away at all. You need to say you don’t think this relationship is working out and stick to it. Keep saying that you’ve broken up. Don’t show emotion, don’t care if she cries, don’t say we’ll figure it out. Clingy Girlfriends will use all their power to keep you in their life. Understand she’s first going to try to scare you, control you and then destroy you. You must stay strong!

2. Slob Attack – Women like changing and moulding men. They like to see a man well groomed. So you need to do the opposite. You must not bathe, shave, wear deo or clean any part of you living area. Do not let her “mould” you. When you do bathe, or shave use all of her expensive bath products and make sure she realises they’re over! Then leave your wet towel on the bed and leave the house.

3. Be Sickening! – You’ve been saving your sick leave for a sick day but here is a chance to actually stay at home and show what a pain in the house you can be. If you have a live in girlfriend, get in the way of what she does at home and thoroughly enjoy yourself in your house. Fire the maid. Ask her to clean the dishes. Watch TV the entire day. Play on your X-Box. Talk to your female friends loudly so she can hear. Do it for a few days till she kicks you out. You must have told her you’ve broken up with her before you do this and maintain that you’re single and she’s still staying with you while you do this. Or you’ll be in trouble!

4. Girlfriends Disapproval – Once a woman has told her girlfriends about you and they approve they will always keep pushing her to get back together with you. So you need to un-do this approval. You need to call her friends and start flirting with them. If you meet them you must try to ask them for a date saying now that you’re broken up with Ms. Clingy, you’re free to date her friends. If she is meeting her friends, you should go and barge in on their party and flirt with the friends, make lewd masochist remarks and pick up an order and leave. Let them pay your bill. Women hate that!

5. Family Circus – A clingy girlfriend is smart. She will use the help of your family to get your relationship back on track. If you don’t want your mother, cousin or well-wishing relative to call and say what a beautiful `jodi’ you two make, you need to let them in on it. Let your family know what she’s been doing and why you need to break up. Otherwise they’ll take her side. Ask them for their advice on how to break up. Once they feel they’re helping you no matter what she calls to tell them, they’ll not relent.

6. Off the Beaten Path – Sometimes you need to act strangely and pull away in different ways to make your girlfriend realise she’s not important. Become a “sadhu” for some time. Enrol in philosophical classes, take solo trips to ashrams, and wear loose fitting white clothing. Say phrases like there’s only God in this world and I renounce myself to Him. I shall not have a family life anymore. If she asks what happens to her, you can reply – You’ve found your true calling and it has nothing to do with this materialistic world. However you still need to work to pay the bills.

7. Keep Proof – Clingy girlfriends can use every psychotic trick in the book to keep you in their life. From telling you they’re pregnant with your child to cutting themselves and writing letter to you in their blood. Don’t freak out. Don’t feel guilty and never take the woman back. Instead send her the names of some well-known psychiatrists and take all this proof to a police station to get a restraining order. Keep the police and your family involved and aware of her so that later it won’t surprise you if she takes legal action.

8. Block, Delete – If you can’t move your city to get away from her because truly that’s the best way, you need to change your passwords on your computer, laptop and any social media sites that she may have had access to. For God’s sake don’t change it to her name or date of birth! Unfriend and remove the people common in your life if you have to. So they won’t spy on you. Stop going to the same parties and the same events both of you hung out at. She’ll be there hoping to rekindle the romance. Change the locks if she was a live in. Crash at a friend’s place. Avoid her. Then delete her.

9. Relapse, repeat – It’s ok if you’re single for some time. It’s ok if you’re lonely. You don’t want to go back to the same person again or the same type of person. You need to also do some introspection or actually speak to a counsellor on why this relationship happened and how you don’t make those choices again.

10. Stop Feeling Guilty – She might use phrases like what would your friends think, is this how you treat women? Is this how you’ve been brought up? She’ll use your core values and demean you. Don’t fall for it. You might be a great guy and it’s not your fault you fell in love with a clingy woman. Don’t doubt yourself. Focus on her as the problem and not you. 

If you think this is tongue in cheek, order the book here: http://goo.gl/cct76A   

Sunday, March 8, 2015

A Salute to Men on Women's Day


On Women's Day I'd like to salute the men who have stood by women all their life.
The fathers, grandfathers, sons, boyfriends, friends, lovers, and the random men who have helped women with small things along the way.

The men who are trying to understand what women want and need and support them. The men who say Go, Be, Do, Achieve, Love, Cry, Fail, Succeed, Try and I'll be there for you no matter what.

For the bosses who treat the women in their team as equals, for the man on the street who is chivalrous and not lecherous, for the man who doesn't blink twice about women refusing to be mothers and wanting to be achievers, for the father who treats both a girl and boy child as the same, let us thank them.

Let me salute the men who are feminists, who are appalled that women have to fight for equal rights because they believe it should be as natural as gravity. Let me praise the man who doesn't need his wife to be home to cook or entertain but is proud she is out working and exploring. Let me honour the man who doesn't believe it's his right  to be given what he wants by a woman simply because he does `so much' as well.

Thank you to those men who respect women no matter what. And lucky are those women to have these men in their life.

Happy Women's Day to all of you who make this world brighter, safer and happier for the future generation. #WomensDay

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

How To Heal From a Heartbreak: A Conversation Between Two Friends


The latest conversation between 2 friends on how to heal from a heartbreak and apps that may help. 

Aditi: Nowadays the best way to get over a man is to get on Tinder. 
Kaveri: Tinder makes it easy for us to move on doesn't it? 
Aditi: Tell me about it! Practically every other person on Tinder has broken up recently. It has a sub club for broken hearts!
Kaveri: It does?!
Aditi: Nah I’m kidding. But it is about people who have broken up from someone and want to move on. I think it's important to meet and greet new people. Memories of your broken past are the most painful! And, very difficult, nay, impossible to get away from. You crave distraction. Anything, just anything to stop thinking about your ex. Kaveri: Ya.
Aditi: A broken hearted soul needs the comfort of friends, family. Somehow to push them to get out of the house, put some effort in dressing up, play sports. You just can't get yourself to do it on your own. You just want to lay in bed, eat chips, drink coke/alcohol, watch TV cos sleep eludes you and you don't remember what your life was about before it all. Or that you even had a life.
Kaveri: Heartbreak happens when one person in the relationship moves on and the other still believes they can work it out.
Aditi: When you start dating again, you slowly realise how abundant the universe is. How, if you make the slightest effort, it'll offer you countless opportunities.
Kaveri: When both move on it’s called a passage of time
Aditi: Not necessarily. It happens when one person wants to move on and the other isn't there yet. When you want to make it work, there's hope in your mind.
Kaveri: When one moves on, it just leaves the other one behind, drowning in what happened and how this investment left them empty, broken. Whether it was worth it.
Aditi: If only we realise that everything is worth it and it’s better than being with someone who stopped loving you. Then no matter how much you try, you’ll never get that person back. Because he’s already gone. He’s mentally miles away from you. And you’re just wasting your time.

Kaveri: So we should just pick up the pieces of ourselves and give them to someone else? Like Tinder asks us to do?
Aditi: No. But just keep them to yourself for some time while taking pieces from others. Their happiness, their laughter, their compliments. God knows your ego will need it for a bit.
Kaveri: For how long?
Aditi: For at least a few months. That’s how you heal from a heartbreak. And heal you will. Believe in that. And then you'll find someone, even on Tinder and they'll be the one. And you'll become exclusive and believe in love again. 

Saturday, February 21, 2015

My Prediction for 87th Academy Awards


The ‪#‎Oscars‬ are upon us. The only day in the year when I wake up at 5:30 in the morning to see an event I dreamed being a part of ever since I was a kid. Here is what I think is going to happen on Monday 23rd Feb.
Best Picture: Birdman or Boyhood though I feel The Grand Budapest Hotel was better than both.
Best Director: Linklater for Boyhood bcos it took him 12 yrs to make one film Dammit! But Innaritu has the jury in his hands...

Best Actor: Eddie Redmayne for The Theory of Everything bcos he's won everything so far as Stephen Hawking
Best Actress: Julianne Moore for Still Alice though I think Reese Witherspoon deserves it more. I mean it's abt acting. Not just leading in a good story.
Supporting Actor: J.K Simmons for Whiplash. Have you seen the movie? Wow!
Supporting Actress: Patricia Arquette for Boyhood. I mean to be an actress in the same movie for 12 years is kinda like being a slave to your profession for a long time.

Best Writing: The Grand Budapest Hotel. Bcos it's so brilliantly written. And so brilliantly shot and superbly sublime and funny. 
I feel Birdman is going to take away a lot of Oscars and everyone will then go watch it and say hey that's an awesome movie without even understanding it. But that's how it is in cinema. 
I hope people are inspired by the end of it. After all it's not abt winning or losing but making great art. Have a great Monday. ‪#‎87thAcademyAwards‬

Monday, February 16, 2015

10 Things You Didn't Know Women Liked About Sex

Disclaimer: This is graphic. If you’re not 18, turn the page! If you’re married, this is compulsory reading like your MBA exam!
Women aren’t always vocal about what they like in bed. They go along because they don’t want to hurt your ego. But they’re not always having an orgasm. No they might not be faking it, but you can tell they’re not happy in their daily behaviour. Crankiness, nagging, cribbing are all forms of them not having good sex. Give them what they like and you’ll never have a bad relationship in your life!

Toys R Fun – Dildos that help you find the g -spot should be a must buy in your life. You can find these online but if you’re traveling abroad make sure you Google a store in your location that can give you this.  It’s far more essential than that bottle of whiskey! Start with the vibrating ring on the condom. Don’t laugh. Sexual games are serious. The more you’re both into them the better will be her orgasm. Tip: A vibrator is different from a dildo or a vibrating dildo. Touch the vibrating tip over the clit and nature will do the rest. The vibrating cock ring is available in India.  Waterproof mini massager by Dr Laura Berman is a fun toy to give your mate.

Say My Name – Women like dirty talk. They may not like it in Hindi (you can get to that later) but they like you being a little rough and rowdy in bed sometimes. This is after you’ve been sweet and cuddly with them as well. They need to see that wild side too. Calling her a sexy little b**** and salivating for her and telling her you want to tear her clothes off does excite women. Tip: Establish a foundation first. You can’t do this on your first date. That’s just a bit scary for the girl.

Rub-Slap-Repeat – So you can try the doggy style and here’s when you can get a little kinky if you’re into it. You can easily rub her bum a little before you give her a little slap. It warms it up. Trying new things is important. Missionary will make you bored very easily. Tip: You need to ask her if she wants to play the submissive in a role and try different things. Tell her this has nothing to do with respect. It’s simply fun for her too.  

G-Whaaa? – There is a G Spot. It’s not a mythical creature from the Lord of the Rings. You should know where it is by now. The g-spot is stimulated when you do the doggy style as long as you know you’re supposed to hump upwards. The g- spot gets rubbed when the woman is on top. The g- spot can be found when you slip one/two fingers into her vagina and curve the fingers. Like you’re taking out ghee from a long jar. Tip: Cut your nails. Keep them clean. Also let her be on top as long as she wants.

Come to Bed Clooney – Role playing is important. Send her a naughty message from work asking her to meet you at a bar in a dress with no panties on. Have drinks with her and flirt a little. Pretend you’re George Clooney. Then take her home and let her take the lead if she wants. Get creative – do it in the balcony at night, buy her a French maid outfit and tell her to pretend to clean the house wearing that while you’re in your robe. Enact a scene from Dirty Dancing. Tell her to buy a stripper or naughty school girl outfit. Surprise you one day. Tip: Try, try again if things fail. Sometimes women need a little push into doing things because they’re shy.

Spill the Beans - Ask her whether she likes the touch you are giving or she wants it differently. Don’t be offended when she gives instructions. Learn from the woman. Wouldn’t you be taking notes in a class to pass a test? Wouldn’t you be making excel sheets when your boss gives you numbers? Same way learn and ask questions so you can become the CEO of the bedroom. Tip: Don’t say I know you’ll like my cock better and give up when she tells you what to do. No. She wants the fingers and the vibrator and the role play sometimes. Make the foreplay last.

Yeh Public Hai – While not many people are into PDA, all women are into Chinese whispers. That means in a public space you can lean in to whisper how you find her cleavage very sexy or how you’re dying to suck her nipples. Lean in and let your cheek rub against her face and neck, gently blowing into her ear after you whisper. Tease her senses. Look at her deeply from across the room before you go back to a conversation with other people. Make the anticipation worthwhile. Let her desire you. Gently touch her back as if you’re helping her when she walks in front of you. Tip : Don’t snap her bra. You’re not in 6th grade.

Don’t Diss the Porn – Some women don’t like to watch porn so you need to build it up for them. Play a soft porn movie and start the action while you’re watching it. Tell her you can do better. Tell her she’s better than the pornstar. Gently get her into trying new positions. Order soya wax candles and use wax on her body. A gentle drop on her back, or cleavage and rub it lightly. Don’t use ordinary candles. Tip: Check the video before you watch it together. Don’t go for the XXX rated the first time you show her porn.

Treasure Hunts – You know she’s going to be home at a particular time so you can leave little clues and chits for her to follow. Kitchen – Go to the bathroom and find a box. Bathroom – Open box and wear perfume. Go to closet. Closet – Chit on a coat. Wear nothing but the coat. Go downstairs to parking lot. Parking lot – Cab. Get into cab and come to hotel. Hotel – At reception ask for room 121. So it’s a little chase for her and for you. Tip: The best erogenous zone in a woman’s body is her mind. Titillate that!

Don’t fall asleep after coitus – MOST IMPORTANT. Cuddle. Lie in bed. Chat. Women still love that. Unless she wants to get up, don’t hop off and order a pizza. She really doesn't care if the sheets are dirty. Not this time. Tip: Treat every time as your first with the woman and maybe the last time because you don’t know if she’ll give it to you again. That’s how important it should be.


Sunday, January 18, 2015

How to Hook Up At a Party

Look like Ryan Gosling – You know why girls swoon over Ryan Gosling? Because he looks good. Now it doesn’t matter if you’re not as fit or as wealthy, you can still try to bathe, wear deo, trim your beard, gel your hair and put on some fresh ironed clothes. If you’re confused about what to wear, a woman always loves a crisp white shirt and well-fitted jeans on a man. If it’s a formal event, wear a jacket. Oh…a jacket would make you win half the battle.

Speak like Mark Zuckerberg – No not the guy who played him in the movie, the real man. He is intelligent, philanthropic and wears a nice smile. He is appealing. He speaks when spoken to. He’s not bragging about his work, money or life. He’s down to earth. Be cool, comfortable, easy going. Mingle with a group and speak to all women at the party. Thin you deserve to be there. Know that women are interested in you when you smile sincerely and not lecherously.

Think like James Bond – You’re charismatic, suave, sexy, mind blowing. Feel it. And then speak to a woman who you like, or the woman who has come over. Be intelligent. Don’t ogle at her breasts. Be interested in her. “If I had to take you on a date, which movie would you like to see?” Ask her what she likes to do. Give her the spotlight but don’t be creepy. Too many personal questions will make her think you’re stalking her. Smile and nod your head as if you really care. Be mysterious.

Charm like Shah Rukh Khan – Women love SRK. Not because he’s a great actor, but because when he looks at you, you’re the only one he’s thinking of. Give her undivided attention. Ask her for a dance if there’s a dance floor. Seclude her to another area where you can hear her better – the terrace, a corridor, etc. Ask her if she would like to smoke. This way you can spend some more time dazzling her. Talk about your hobbies and your work. Don’t be overconfident. Stay humble and shift focus back to her.

Friendly like Chandler – Before Monica and Chandler hooked up she always thought of him as a friend. At a party you don’t want a woman to think of you as someone she can confide in. As soon as she feels comfortable with you, she won’t sleep with you. If she mentions she has a boyfriend, say you’re not interested in breaking anything up and thank her and walk away. If she still chooses to spend time with you, then you’ve got her hooked. If she says you can become good friends, then you must immediately say you’re too enamoured to remain friends and again walk away. Let her make the choice to come to you. Or you can go the Chandler way and become friends until you confess you have feelings for her one fine day in the future.

Spend like Mr. Big – Women have watched Sex and the City, a TV show where the male protagonists had lots of money. A woman likes the fact that her man can afford her high maintenance life. If you can buy her a drink, offer to take her out for dinner and even say you will get her a new dress if you rip her current one off, it shows you can afford expensive things in life. Women are attracted to men who are doing well in life as compared to men who are still struggling.

Sing like Sinatra – Women love a man who can sing or/and play an instrument. It’s something about the lyrics or the melody in his voice that will make a woman instantly attracted to him. So at a party if there’s karaoke, do sing a song. And if there isn’t say that you would like to sing two lines of a song that you’re reminded of when she speaks. Practice any song at home before you get to the party. Always sing the same song that you’re most confident in. Don’t sing the whole song till you’re prompted by her.

Funny like Farhan Akhtar – This man has been called the thinking woman’s ideal man. He’s witty and sharp and he may not have the best body or greatest dress sense but he’s sincere, puns a lot, comes up with great stories and is the master of many trades. That could be you. You don’t always need to pretend to be someone you’re not. You can just laugh at yourself and tell her an anecdote about your past that was humiliating and yet here you are hoping that the most beautiful woman in the room might like you more than that cool man over there in the corner. Endearing men always score!

Aloof like Mr Darcy – Women like brooding, aloof, powerful, dominant men. They like a bad boy they can tame. First you must find a woman who is also eyeing you as much as you are eyeing her. Then walk over to her and pay her a compliment. “I couldn’t help but admire your eyes from all the way across the room and I just needed to get a closer look.” If she’s with friends say “Enjoy your evening” and walk away, a distance where she can still see you. Smile at her if she’s still sitting with friends. Don’t start chatting with other people. Sit separately with your drink. Let her come to you.

Be You – If you like a girl, tell her. Compliment her on her eyes, her smile and the way she carries her dress. Talk to her about yourself. If you had a Twitter bio what would it say? Ask her. Play twenty questions about the person she is. Does she like parties or quiet dinners at home? Tell her what your future plans her. “I’m planning to take a cooking class to make a quiet dinner for someone in the near future.” Make her laugh.

Some women might hook up and some women even after everything you do just won’t. They came to the party to have a good time and not hook up. Don’t take it personally. In the end, have a wonderful time at the party. The more you go out to just have fun, the more you’ll have a great holiday season. 

From my Maxim Column December 2014 issue. 

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Broken is Beautiful. Kintsugi

"Most people would like damages to their broken items to be concealed and hidden by repair making the object look like new. But the Japanese art of Kintsugi follows a different philosophy. Rather than disguising the breakage, kintsugi restores the broken item incorporating the damage into the aesthetic of the restored item, making it part of the object’s history."
In life aren't we all broken? Broken relationships. Broken friendships. Broken houses. Broken jobs. We try to leave the past behind. Not dwell on it. Focus on the future. Be positive.
But what if the broken pieces are truly beautiful when mended. Shouldn't we give credit to that? The healing. The mending. The chipped fragments of our life that we put together. Instead of discarding it shouldn't we embrace it? Be proud of it? Wear it like a badge of honour rather than hide it away as a past, a regret, a choice we don't want to think about.
We mend our life with "gold"
For me that gold signifies courage, strength, intelligence, positivity. We might be this wonderful pottery that God made. That was broken with life and healed with gold.
Kintsugi.
An art...of living life with honour.

10 Sex Questions From Men - Uncensored

1) I have fantasized about making love in the kitchen but my girlfriend doesn’t believe in experimenting. How do I convince her?

I’m glad that you’re trying to spice things up. However, you must realise that most women have an orgasm in the missionary position on a bed rather than being tangled in strange postures in various rooms. Therefore, you must tell your girlfriend that maybe the sex in the kitchen or anywhere else is not just about an orgasm. It’s about the adventure and the memories you’re creating together.
Then there are two ways to do this correctly. One when you’re having foreplay, coax her into the kitchen and find a comfortable spot. You must have got the kitchen cleaned first. You can’t have dirty dishes lying around. Nothing distracts a woman more than wanting to scream at her maid for not clearing up!! Make sure the lights are dimmed or have a candle lit. Draw the curtains if your girlfriend is shy. She might not like voyeuristic sex.
The second way is to start experimenting in other areas like the drawing room on a sofa or the bathroom and then move to the kitchen. Maybe the cold marble slab is not appealing to her. As Ma Sarita, the tantric sex expert claims “Women's needs from sex revolve around love, companionship and intimacy whereas a man seeks excitation, orgasm and ejaculation.” Be sure to give her plenty of love before you initiate the excitement. All the best!

2) In all the relationships that I’ve had, it’s been a tough task to decode what turned her on. What are a major turn on for a woman?

The scent of a man is very important. If you smell good, you’ve already won half the battle. Then the usual qualities would work – how you treat a woman, making her feel important, giving undivided attention, being funny, be smart, not arrogant or too cool, and never jump to have sex. Don’t talk about past relationships or hope for her to meet your parents on the first date, support her dreams, and be interested in her ideas. When you’ve succeeded in winning her attention, be gentle and firm in bed. Know when to lead and when to let her take over. In a Cosmopolitan survey of what women wanted from men, how a man looked or what he earned was lower than how he made her feel. Always remember that. Good luck!

3) I am in my late 20s and been in a relationship for the last 4 years. But for the past 1 and a half years my girlfriend has been pressurizing me to be a “man”. We have an amazing sex life and a smooth relationship, so I don’t understand what she mean? Help!

It takes time for a man to open up to a woman about his life and his problems. And women are always pressurizing men to “share more.” But when they do, women don’t really want to hear it on a daily basis! Have you been unloading all your problems to her too often? Maybe she needs a little more listening from your side and less cribbing? Don’t hunt for a mother in her. Make sure the bathroom is clean and you put away your own ironed clothes if you’re living with her. Nurture her by taking her out on dates. She needs to feel protected. Drop her home if she’s working late. Take charge of both your goals and dreams and make decisions. If she has a wish, fulfil it. If she is upset, angry, or hurt, listen to her. Give advice only when she asks for it and stop whining in return about how you’re hurt or upset too. Wear a little less pink! Keep an unshaven look for a few days and try something new in bed.  You’ll be man enough for her to never look at another male species.

4) I have just got into a relationship with a lovely, funny woman. She doesn’t like the idea of going out and it is too soon to take her home. I really like her and want her. What should I do?
Indian women are sometimes shy and conservative. So start by taking her in a group of friends or a double date – her girl friend and another guy with both of you. Do something casual like watching a movie or going for coffee. Once you get to know her better then plan an outing doing what she likes – trekking, going to the bookstore, walk in the park, etc. Ask her if she would like to do it with just you. Remember the more conversation you have with her, the closer you will get. Making yourself vulnerable, open and staying honest will always go a long way in love.  

5) My girlfriend is on good terms with my best friend and she talks a lot about him. I recently spotted them together in a bar. They said it was a coincidence. Am I being too possessive or is it time to confront her?
It’s time to confront her. There are no coincidences.

6) My girlfriend complains that there isn’t enough foreplay. Tips?
Here are a few tips of foreplay:
  • Don’t rush to undress.
  • Kiss a little longer.
  • Play with her hair, ears, neck.
  • Whisper sweet nothings in her ear – you’re so beautiful, your hair is so luscious, you’re the best kisser ever...
  • Gently rub your hands down her back with the tips of your fingers.
  • Move hands slowly over breasts.
  • Gently suck on nipples.
  • Keep a surprise element when you go down on her. Don’t rush it.   
  • Use props if you need to. Silk scarves, ties, blindfold...
  • Take your time before actual coitus.
7) I have been in a relationship for 3 and half years and it feels like she is the boss in the bed. It was fun but I’m a little unsatisfied of late. Any moves I can use?
Maybe she takes charge in bed because she feels she needs to. If you show her how you can please her, she won’t be so dominating. Here are a few tips:
  • Experiment with role play. Tell her to wear your office shirt and nothing underneath and come into the room where you’re in bed. Or something that fuels your imagination and hers with household props.
  • Don’t ask too many questions. “Do you want me to turn off the lights? Is the ac ok? Are you comfortable? Do you want to eat something first?” Stop it!
  • Tell her what you want. “I want you to take your clothes off.” “I want you to sit on that chair.” “I want you to loosen your hair.” Don’t take her opinion on it. Be firm.
  • Speak dirty. Ask her how she’s feeling. “Tell me how much you like it.” “Moan for me.”
  • Be bold in touching her, not aggressive and rough, but firm and confident.
  • Spend time in all her erogenous zones instead of just going to only one or two.
  • Change positions. You don’t need to have sex in just one way. It’s not just about the orgasm. It’s about having fun and experimenting in weird ways that makes you connect with each other better.
  • Compliment her for her work, choices, managing home, etc. Some women feel they need to be aggressive in bed to prove a point that they are superwoman. You must converse with her enough to make her feel she’s great in whatever she does. 
  • Remind yourself that you’re a powerful personality too. Not just in bed but every day. When that confidence shines through, you’ll conquer anything!
8) I am 30 but older woman of 50 really turn me on. I really want to get with one of them. Shall I?
Try your luck but older women always come with baggage. They’re not going to marry you, have your children or meet your parents. If it’s fun with no emotional attachment that you seek, go for it. Otherwise, stick to women your own age who can develop the relationship further if you fall in love.

9) My girlfriend gets randy while kissing, it’s almost like she is chewing me. It does turn me on but she needs to slow down a bit. How can I tell her without pissing her off?

First you need to appreciate the fact that the woman loves kissing you. Tell her that you would be even more turned on if it was done slower. Tell her there’s no hurry, you’re not going anywhere and you want to please her as well. Probably she’s seen this in movies and is displaying it in real life. Show her how to kiss better. Sometimes gentle criticism and soft encouragement to improve could help in keeping your lips intact.

10) I’ve been married for 10 years, tried all kinds of positions and places. It doesn’t feel as good in bed as it used to. Any tips on how I can spice things up?

The India Today Sex Survey of 2012 showed that 35 per cent woman admit to reading or watching pornography, as opposed to 13 per cent a decade ago. You can start with watching a great porn movie together! Then move on to planning a hotel night where she’s not worried about the household problems. If you have children keep a relative/ nanny at home while you’re away for the night. Plan a longer vacation without children that could spice up the relationship. You can also try to be romantic. Send her some negligee with a note that she would look wonderful wearing it. Plan a spa day for her so she’s relaxed.
Maybe even have some time away from each other so that when you meet, the craving and passion comes back. Passion always comes from the mind. The body only follows. If you believe that you’re with the most beautiful woman in the world like you did when you married her, feel it, accept it, prove it!



Wednesday, January 7, 2015

The Importance of Loneliness

A friend told me recently: It’s been a year since my divorce. Maybe I should find a man. I’m so lonely.
And that got me thinking.

What is wrong with loneliness?

It’s the most powerful emotion to have.

It’s not from happiness, peace or ambition that we grow. It’s from loneliness. So many couples think that marriage and being with another human being is supposed to fill a void. But no one realizes that even if you’re with someone that void is a gift. 

Loneliness is powerful. 

It gives you a sense of what you’re lacking. And that lack is not just time with your spouse. It’s a lack of more energy in your life. It’s the universe’s way of telling you are so much more. What more do you want to do. Besides this person in your life, what else can you be? And only from loneliness will your soul grow. 

It’s sad when you see couples just being together all the time. Doing the same things. Feeling the same way having common emotions and values and hooping for the same dreams of bigger houses better cars good education for kids. And then partying together, spending every minute either together or in filling their time with people and work. 

So often we shun loneliness thinking that it is negative. It makes us depressed. Not being able to understand that it is highly under rated. We must embrace it. And from there we will grow. Enjoy your time alone. Enjoy your space. And reflect on yourself. Be lonely. It’s worth it.


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

10 New Year Resolutions To Think About



1. I will try to understand the people who are important to me and give them attention. I will not focus on negative people and trying to fix their problems.

 
2. I will not let petty things bother me. There is a larger game play in action. I will focus on that.
 
3. I will raise my children to be equal and kind and understanding. I will not give in to every demand of theirs.

4. I will meditate every day for at least 15 minutes. I believe in a higher power and my inner power. I will tap into that when I’m depressed, lonely, upset, disappointed, angry, or annoyed.
 
5. I will walk/jog/gym/yoga at least five times a week. Not just to be thin but to be fit for life. 

6. I will not feel guilty about taking time for myself and understanding what my soul desires. Even if this means skipping a few lunches and dinners with friends and important people.

7. I will not be indifferent to the needs of others. I will donate clothes, money, time and energy to those who are in need and it will not include family and friends.

8. I will realize that I need to work to earn money but it’s not what defines me. I have many layers of myself to discover and I will take new chances. 

9. I will not let people, situations, opinions, and other’s success affect me. I will not be filled with self doubt! My time will come. I will work hard today to fulfill my goal. 

10. I will not share every idea, every moment, and every picture of me on a social media site. I do not need appreciation or validation. I am complete in myself. My moments are precious to me and I cherish them.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

2015 Leo Horoscope

In 2015 the Leo can be considered the lucky ones! Everything you dream of can come true and under even better circumstances than you think. It’s not only that Jupiter, the planet of grand achievements and opportunities, will stay in your Zodiac till August, but also other planets will provide Leo with numerous surprising opportunities for it to solidify its “royal status”. After all, among all people on earth and among all the stars in the skies there is hardly a nobler Zodiac sign than yours: only you can do a noble gesture with such grandeur even without taking your own interests into consideration. In 2015 as always nothing will just be given to you by the birthright, but what you win in an honest fight will be especially valuable to you since it’ll be granted to you on your terms! You should agree that staying true to your life credo is success in itself!

Leo horoscope for 2015 notes that in the first half of the year you, dear Lions, will notice that you’ve become less reserved, more courageous and decisive, ready to fight any troubles that life can bring you. At some point you may suddenly feel like being in the spotlight more often, going to more of formal events and visiting more entertainment establishments; you would want to shine like the brightest star whose sparkle can hardly be outdone by anyone at all. Regardless of the way it is manifested, your popularity will grow and grow fast – so fast that on waking up in your bed next morning you will feel a new person as if you were born again. Those of you who have been in the shadow living a modest ascetic life will suddenly feel so elevated that it can literally be compared to only having wings behind your back and soaring above the crowd of gapers. It can even be said that Leo 2015 and Leo 2015 are two completely different persons. People around you will notice the changes: you’ll become more benevolent, supportive and magnanimous. These newly discovered qualities will earn you reputation and authority. In early 2015 many of you will strive for drastic changes in your appearance: you’d want to change your image, hair, etc. to become a new person and feel refreshed. You can go ahead and boldly experiment with your image.

It should be mentioned that the Lions of creative professions have strong chances to be recognized at what they do and become known. By the way, some “artistic” Lions can get so stuck up under the influence of their popularity that they would be able to do something inappropriate or they can get so self-confident in what they do that they would devise something so “out there” that the society would not approve of it. You should keep in mind that moderateness is a virtue and there’s always a line by crossing which you may lose it all.

In the second half of 2015 when Jupiter moves into the Zodiac of Virgo Leo will get more concerned with the issues associated with material wellbeing and financial stability. It is during this time that you may expect to work on an interesting project and land a well-paying exciting job which will provide for all future expenses.

Special attention should be paid to the summer months of 2015 when Saturn has a negative influence on your family relations. You, dear Lions, should first and foremost be with your household members during this time. Be involved, show initiative, communicate with your close ones, and help them solve their problems. Even if they deny the very existence of critical situations, they will still desperately need your support. Try to spend more time with your family during summer time, have family fun, and enjoy time outdoors. Vacationing with a whole family will also help preserve peace and harmony in your home.

If sometime during the period of June-August 2015 you start thinking of renovating, you should do away with this idea right away. Any renovation projects for your Zodiac sign can be fraught with the most unfortunate consequences. Even if you and your significant other are enjoying a perfect relationship at the end of spring, your ideas of how to arrange your nest could be so drastically different that disagreements can cause a serious break up. Undertaking selling or buying real estate is not advisable, either, during this time. You should think of postponing these matters till the fall when you have more financial opportunities and various options to realize your ideas.

Additional Information for 2015 Leo Horoscope

If your birthday falls on sometime between August 4 and August 11, you may then fully count on unconditional support from above. The Leo from this group may notice many unusual changes happening in their life in 2015 which will expedite solving many problems that have been dragging for quite some time. Apart from Jupiter’s favorable influence on your Zodiac sign, in 2015 Uranus will have a significant impact on you which will first of all promote Leo’s career ambitions. However, when it comes to the Leo involved in politics or those of you with a creative profession or engaged in the sphere of art or any other public activity, the planets’ influence will prove especially noticeable and interesting result-wise: many Leos involved in the above-mentioned spheres will become famous. Yes, they will! The conditions found in 2015 horoscope for your Zodiac sign will promote your achievements online and on TV even if you have never given a thought to becoming popular. Also, those of you who look for popularity should resort to the most unconventional ways to achieve a cherished goal. Moreover, Uranus can make your social status change considerably. You may decide to change your life – once and for all. Your friends and family might be shocked by such turn of events, but you shouldn’t pay any attention to their concerns. Everything you’ve got planned will be sure to come true – you’ll enjoy wellbeing and new opportunities.

The rest of the Leo sign natives should not lose heart since their opportunities will not deplete and the changes they will experience throughout 2015 will prove favorable and positive. Everything discussed above has the most direct impact on you, too, with the only exception of the Lions born in early August who will enjoy the best that life can bring.

Finances Horoscope 2015
2015 will prove to be quite successful for Leo’s financial life. In the first half of 2015 your income will fully depend on your social and business activity. The more often you make public appearances and the louder you advertise your professional talents the more “profitable” this behavior will be. This way you’ll be sure to kill two birds with one stone: you’ll indulge in self-admiration and receive a financial bonus.

In the second half of the year Leo’s money appetite will grow: you’ll want more money, but your expenses will be equally high. During this time you should steer all your efforts toward locating new income sources and more favorable job options which will ensure the lifestyle you want. Don’t limit your wishes; strive for more and you’ll get it. However, you should watch out for loans and credits – rely on your own power and financial opportunities when making large acquisitions; don’t borrow money no matter how favorable offers could seem. You shouldn’t lend money, either – even to your good friends and close relatives – you may have your financial inflow dry up.

A period between July 25 and September 8 when your desire of extravagance and luxury is particularly high should be mentioned separately. Try to hold your horses – don’t buy big; don’t invest; otherwise, you may lose a larger portion of your savings.

During the period of September 26-November 12 you should be particularly watchful of your expenses. This is the time when money can disappear like sand through your fingers no matter how hard you may try to save and limit your expenditures. Protect your belongings; don’t make large deals. During this time your expenses will exceed your revenues and you should be more serious when tackling the issue of safeguarding your savings.

Acquiring real estate and making large purchases for home should better be planned for the period of December 6-30. And summer months should be avoided in terms of any investments in home improvements/renovations.

The most favorable periods for large acquisitions and investments are January 28-February 20, April 12-May 7 and September 7-October 9.

Career:

Many Lions will make a decision to drastically change their professional occupation in 2015. You will be after the job that could help you explore your potential, make you enjoy it, aid in becoming famous and generate good income. You’ll be prepared to work day and night on exciting new projects. It’ll be interesting for you to dive into a new world, new responsibilities and new social circle. The zest you’ll have for your new job can only be compared to the student who has just graduated and started their first job. You should keep in mind that in the second half of 2015 when Jupiter enters the Zodiac of Virgo you may find the job that will completely satisfy your salary criteria.

The Lions who for various reasons would prefer to keep their current job should keep in mind that during the summer months there may be some hiccups associated with being paid or getting a desired income; there may also be some difficulties in the relations with your management during this time.

During the summer time many Lions will have to tackle the issues connected with their career growth. You’ll want to be promoted and have your responsibilities change; a career growth will seem the easiest and most logical solution in this case; moreover, it’ll call for the least amount of effort you’ll have to make. During the period between the end of July and the first decade of September your professional authorities can be taken away. In addition to your core managerial responsibilities they may impute regular specialist’s duties to you. Be prepared to accept the circumstances – this will help you earn respect of your superiors and give you a chance to take advantage of it in the future.

The Lions of creative professions can count on becoming more popular in the first half of 2015. You should consider cooperating with foreigners, working abroad and taking active part in various educational events. This will help you showcase your potential and make you more famous.

Entrepreneurial Lions will have to work hard during 2015. You should focus on imported goods and working with foreign companies. Even a regular business trip abroad can boost your business. The second half of 2015 holds a promise of good profit if during the first half of the year you won’t stay idle.

January :
o, the zodiac Sign in which the Fire trigon reaches its energetic peak, will enter a new and an entirely new life phase in January 2015. Throughout this month, the influence of the Sun – the planet-ruler of Leo will be multiplied in strength due to the general position of this celestial body. A similar situation will affect Pluto, which is the planet-exalt of Leo, meaning that it is responsible for the flourishing of its life strength. Overall, this extraordinary sign is destined to feel an incredible specter of emotions in the beginning of the year, various positive and helpful emanations occurring due to the position of the stars. The Leos may discover new talents they didn’t know they had, they can achieve perfection in any area, but all of this is in the future – perhaps already by the middle of the year. Currently, it is necessary to focus on one’s own feelings and desires. Uranus and Mercury, traditionally the antagonists of Leo, will be fully blocked by the Sun and Pluto. At the same time, the “celestial leader” of the Fire trigon – the Moon will enter into a confrontation with Neptune and will prevent its negativity. Only Mars will maintain his strength and influence, but he will clearly fall short of exerting any influence onto the decisions of Leos. This is a very positive period that may become a quality base for a rapid fast to the top.

In relation to the area of finances, January 2015 will not bring Leo any special earnings. Everything will go the way it should in the framework of what had been planned. However, towards the end of the first ten-day period, you will suddenly recognize that your abilities significantly surpass the specter of your current responsibilities. Do not be afraid to widen the horizons of your competency. If awareness and your level of mastery permit you do something, then do it. Someone may stand in your way, but trust that he has no chances if you are actually right and are doing what fully corresponds to your essence. When problems arise with management, ask yourself this question – is this a place where you can realize your potential to its fullest degree? If yes, then continue on forward and you will reach success. If no, then you should probably change your place of work. This is an exit that you have been seeking for a long time, so you should not be afraid of cardinal changes. Half-measures are not what you need, not right now – not ever. You have a passion and effort, as well as the support of your celestial benefactors. You can go to another firm or start your own business – do not be afraid of responsibility, as only it defines your real importance and real capabilities

In the sphere of personal relationships, everything will be no less unambiguous. Two-three days before the New Moon (January 20), towards the end of the second ten-day period of the month, you will realize where you have made a mistake. This realization will come suddenly, as a vision, as a collection of all the combined guesses and feelings. Make a decision – what, or precisely who is more important to you. Stop running between two fires, remember the old and wise saying about two rabbits. Make a decision and see how this certainty plays out itself. With time it will bring stability, such stability that you couldn’t even dream of. Everything will come to balance and your feelings will guide you themselves to the correct course of action. Do not be afraid that you have to hurt someone, lying is incompatible with happiness. If you made a mistake once, that doesn’t mean that you can’t change it. You just need the desire and a little bravery to take a leap. Be determinate, but soft; be strong, but flexible. Talk to people, try to understand them and accept them the way they are. The world will suddenly become simpler and brighter. Concentrate on the current day, as tomorrow is its logical continuation.